'Bits of Bytes' Interview of Xanthe. Emerald's most successful Pseudosilicon. (Dangerously Explicit)

Today is the 18th of May 2077. Bits of Bytes Virtual Magazine interview room in Grants Pass Oregon. Interviewer only known as 'CC'.


CC: Xanthe, we met earlier this past year in Texas and you saved my ass. I thank you for that. Lets get right to the point. You are basically a machine. A bounty hunter. Do you feel?


Xanthe: No Cindy I do not feel. Thoughts such as empathy, happiness, or hatred that provoke a response are not part of my programming. These are merely words with no meaning.


CC: Please do not use names during this interview. Someone might get the impression that I have been assisting you. I personally do not want to be a part of your practice of "offing" people who get in your way.


Xanthe: That will not be a problem Mrs. Calloway. I will not use your name.


CC: Well, fuck. That's just great, just great! Thanks, jeez, lets get on with the interview shall we? Are you completely machine or are you a hybrid? What makes you tick?


Xanthe: I was once a human female. In the year 2018 I was involved in a tragic welding accident in the Ukraine. The explosion left me half the woman I used to be. After careful deliberation and a long drawn out funeral my husband decided to grant my last wish and donate my body to science. Unbeknownst to my husband the donate clause did not have a DNR. I was resuscitated several hundred times on my way to Roswell New Mexico.


CC: Oh my God! You remember this horrific event? That is terrible!


Xanthe: I do not remember this event. I am pulling up files from Emerald.


CC: Thank God for that. I hate to bring this up but do you know what happened next?


Xanthe: Yes. I was rushed to a secret location that I do not know about to this day. It was located somewhere in the general vicinity of Area 77. The technicians removed pieces of me that did not function. They included my spine, major organs, and hands. I was stored in Cryofreeze for forty-four years. My internal cavity was filled with silicon and circuitry. In 2063 I was developed and engineered as an assassin for the NIB along with thirty-two other women. I am currently a functioning entity.


CC: This all seems kind of sad to me. You obviously do not feel sadness. Did your husband ever figure out you were still "alive" so to speak?


Xanthe: No to both questions. He died many years ago a rich man from the insurance policy he took out on me without my knowledge.


CC: Your story is quite fascinating and sounds a lot like the old science fiction tales spun like Robocop, Blade Runner, The Six-Million Dollar man, Bionic Woman, you know the same old song and dance.


Xanthe: If I may be so bold here, they are all pussy stories told by filmmakers and producers with no testicles. Take this 'Frankenstein' story one step further. I kill with no conviction. I will end your life with precision and accuracy. I will eliminate you because Emerald has instructed me to. All of the previously mentioned pussies had 'feelings'. Whoa is me. Blah, blah, blah. It is so cliche.


CC: (Laughing) You are actually quite funny. So was the Terminator a pussy? He had no feelings.


Xanthe: The last movie they made in 2067, "Rise of the End of the Beginning of the Fall of the Start of the Terminator 35" movie was proof that a geriatric Terminator was a bad idea. I will kick his ass and his Hover-Walker. Emerald has given me the "green light" to take care of him if I see him in a Fructose Mart shopping for HFCS.


CC: I want to thank you again for saving my life. It means a lot to me, my life that is.


Xanthe: You serve a function and Emerald approves of your fucking kick-ass attitude.


CC: Thank you Xanthe for your time. Where are you headed next?


Xanthe: I am heading south to kill a couple of fuzzbucket runaway Twins. Emerald will restore order to this planet.